Television

I know.

Psychologists, teachers, sociologists and hippies have been maligning television for decades now. Some people have even thrown their televisions out of their homes, whilst brushing their hands together and proclaiming "good riddance."

Television is bad, bad, bad. Bad for families. Bad for children. Bad for adults. Television eats away at our brains, makes us fat, and discourages free thought and family interaction.

Now, let's not even consider the fact that most of the folks who kicked television out of their homes and superciliously look down their noses at those of us who still bow to the idiot box will happily drag their asses to the movies on any given Friday night, sequestering themselves in a darkened theater filled with flashing lights and loud booming noises. Movies, they will tell you, are an art form and therefore not even in the same category as television.

True. Movies aren't in the same category as television because television is the greater art form.

All those hippies, psychologists, teachers and sociologists are laughing as they read this. How can the medium that gave rise to reality programming and FOX News possibly be an art form?

I will be the first to admit that 95% of the television programming on today is total crap. But television is still an art form.

No one will argue with the fact that the piano is an art form. But that doesn't mean that every six year old banging out Chopsticks on the piano is an artist. Likewise, just because television is proliferated with shows like Hell's Kitchen and So You Think You Can Dance doesn't mean that everything on television is banal and trashy.

But how can TV be a greater art form than movies? Movies have scale. They have huge screens, great sound and billion dollar stars. They have enormous budgets (yet they still manage to produce such embarrassments as Lady in the Water and Norbit, which no one ever mentions when they are talking about what a great art form film is).

What movies don't have, though, and will never have, is time. And time is what makes television the superior art.

Why does time matter? Because true character development, true plot intricacies, and true depth of storytelling cannot be accomplished in an hour and a half. Movie makers know this, and that's why the average movie has doubled in length to about three hours. But the average moviegoer doesn't have the patience for a long movie. People groan when they discover that the movie they were going to squeeze in between dinner and dessert is going to occupy most of their evening. And most people get bored after the third sequel. Hell, by the time the third sequel is finally released, most people can't even remember the first one.

Television, on the other hand, has time on its side. A three hour storyline can be spread out over three weeks, and if each part is well executed, viewers will still be itching to see the next episode by the time the previous week has passed. But television directors don't just have a three hour maximum to work with, like movie directors do. They have a whole season—20 to 25 episodes. They can take minor characters and flesh them out, giving them back stories, rich personalities and their own unique sets of problems. They can take main characters and make us feel like we know them intimately, like we could invite them over for a beer or have them watch our kids on a Friday night. They can take a simple storyline and develop it into a mystery with unexpected plot twists and intricacies that would baffle even the most savvy movie-goer if crammed into a three hour big-screen story. They can tackle a different social or moral problem every week, and do it well.

Now, taking advantage of all the television medium has to offer requires a special kind of director. Only a few are brilliant enough to recognize the potential of television, and fewer still have the talent necessary to create a television program that uses the art form to its maximum potential. That's why television is filled with so much crap.

But every now and then, a really outstanding program comes along. There are three or four of them this season alone (an improvement from the days when Buffy the Vampire Slayer was the only thing on TV worth watching).

And that's why I, personally, won't be throwing out my TV any time soon.